Goodbye and Hello
by futureauthor13
Summary: 'Who would've thought a small, teal, semi aquatic mammal could make such a difference in his life' Oneshot. Future fic.


The sun was just peaking over the 'F' shaped building when he decided to get up. There wasn't a point in staying in bed when your body ached even when laying down. While it never slowed him down on the job, getting blown up so many times eventually caught up with him.

Heinz Doofenshmirtz walked over to his closet and grabbed the same outfit he had worn for who knows how long (even he couldn't remember). A greenish brown pair of pants, a black sweater, and a white labcoat. Some things never changed.

Walking over to the bathroom, he glanced in the mirror and couldn't help but scowl a little. His hair had long since been gone, and numerous wrinkles covered his face. 'Oh whatever,' he thought. He still aged better than most people, even the ones who still had hair. The man had occasionally considered getting a hair piece, but after seeing how ridiculous some of his former L.O.V.E. M.U.F.F.I.N. members looked in them, that thought was quickly forgotten.

Fully dressed and teeth brushed, Doofenshmirtz continued his morning routine and walked into the kitchen. His stomach didn't growl at him for food, so he simply made a cup of coffee. The smell of grounded up coffee beans filled the room, making the man feel a little more awake already. Now gnawing at his mind, he impatiently waited for the machine to buzz, granting him permission to drink the liquid gold that was coffee.

When it finally finished, Doof wasted no time in pouring himself a cup and taking a long sip. He sighed, satisfied. Getting up in years, he now knew why Francis Monogram was always so dependent on this stuff.

Sun poured into the room, and the temperature quickly started to rise. He would have to move into the living room soon just so he could cool down a little. Looking out the window, the man made a face. What day was it? He knew it was June, hence the summer weather. Let's see, there wasn't any mail yesterday, or did he just forget to get the mail? "Oh, I'll look it up later," Heinz said finally, not wanting to get up from his chair and at the same time not really caring what day it was.

It seemed the older he got, the more the days just ran together. It was like when he was a lawn gnome, no real sense of times or dates, just day and night. But it wasn't as if he just sat around doing nothing. He was Doofenshmirtz for badness sake! He would always find something to do or some sort of trouble to accidentally get himself into.

With Norm being deactivated for the last few years (he had a good run but the robotic man was just getting too old. But at least Doof was kind enough to put a 'dream' disc into him before deactivating him. He was evil, but not heartless) Doofenshmirtz had to run his own errands and do small stuff like getting groceries and picking up parts for anything around the apartment that needed fixed.

Of course when he went grocery shopping, he would bring his change jar and coupons on purpose. It was like he had to do it, both for still keeping a little bit of 'evil' in his life by holding up the lines and he knew being an old man he could totally get away with it. Those days were always kinda fun.

He also still went to the library to research on whatever he happened to be interested in that week, as well as the movies. There weren't any L.O.V.E. M.U.F.F.I.N. meetings to go to since the group disbanded more than twenty years ago. Most of the members were too old, and there weren't many new members to take their places, so the group just decided to move on. But Doofenshmirtz still kept in contact with Dr. Diminutive and even Rodney. In fact, next week if he felt like going, he would be attending a L.O.V.E. M.U.F.F.I.N. reunion at the caribou lodge.

Then there was his family. Vanessa would visit once a month or so, and with her came his son-in-law and his grandson, Thomas. Thomas was a smart kid, he reminded Doof so much of Vanessa when she was a kid. Thomas was actually a pretty good inventor, and while he usually preferred working on them alone, the two would sometimes work together on creations. But Heinz would always supervise and offer helpful tips, he would never actually invent.

Doof gave a sigh. Not a specific type of sigh, just a sigh. He found himself doing that more often as he got older too. It was weird, was there just a list of things that became an 'old person thing' you do all the time when you get to a certain age?

Still not feeling hungry, Doofenshmirtz finished his coffee, placed the mug in the sink, turned off the machine, and went into the living room. He glanced at the pictures lacing the walls. Family photos both old and recent, a couple L.O.V.E. M.U.F.F.I.N. group pictures, and of course the picture of himself with the sunset background. He always smiled at that one.

The 70's decor an furniture is still there, from the bright green couch to the purple walls. Doofenshmirtz always hated redecorating. He liked the style, and he was going to stick with it, no matter how much Vanessa begged him to change it. Any and all inators, except for the Retire-inator (which he always preferred to sit in over his old couch) were put either in the basement or in his old lab.

Sitting down in the inator, he pressed a black button, and a newspaper already folded to the crossword page appeared in his lap. Grabbing a pen, he quickly began filling in answers. The first few were easy, making Doof instantly feel confident. But, as he read some of the more harder clues, his confidence in finishing the puzzle with no problems at all was quickly diminished. After a while, Doof started to losing interested in the puzzle, causing his mind and eyes to wander. As he started wondering about what food they would have at the reunion (he hoped Rodney wasn't cooking), his eyes caught the date on the top of the newspaper.

June 4th, 2052. June 4th, why did that date sound so familiar? Well, June did have a birthday, but his wasn't until the 18th, and Vanessa's wasn't until July 1st. Still, something about that date kept poking at his mind, trying to get the former scientist to remember. June 4th, 4th, June, June 4th...

"Gah!" He hated not remembering things. Deciding to try and ignore it for now, Doofenshmirtz went back to the puzzle. "Okay okay, let's see here, two words, 'Blank-Blank Mammal'."

He looked at the boxes, there were thirteen. He already had an 'S' in the beginning, and a 'C' at the end. "What kind of word starts with S and ends with C?" Doof asked, as if the paper could speak back to him, "Oh, no wait, two words. Okay, S! Uh, scientist, scuba, scrape, scrap, school, see, semi, si-!"

Wait, rewind, replay. "Semi," he repeated, his voice quiet. Two words, thirteen letters. Of course. Slowly and silently, he wrote each letter in the box.

Semi-Aquatic.

He could now remember what day it was. How ironic.

Forty five years ago today, with the same weather, and after taking the very picture he had just looked at, he had met the one person who had changed his life forever.

And no, he didn't mentally correct himself. To Doofenshmirtz, he was more of a person than an animal.

He wanted to crumble up the paper for making him remember, but at the same time he felt ashamed for nearly forgetting. Like everything else in their relationship, it was another contradiction. But, he was okay with that, because that's how it had always been.

'Geesh, has it really been that long?' the former scientist thought, feeling old. He still remembered the feeling of someone or something watching him behind a blue metal mailbox. The next day, he had met him personally.

()()()()()()()

Surprisingly, there weren't any traps or machines waiting for the platypus agent. Doofenshmirtz was just delighted to see him, as if the agent were more like an old friend than an enemy.

"So, you're my nemesis now?" Doofenshmirtz had asked. The platypus nodded, still looking a little surprised and confused. The brunette smiled. "Oh, I've always wanted my own nemesis! This just proves I'm good at being evil!" He looked down at the monotreme, who was now looking impatient and a bit annoyed.

"Oh, right, hehe, my evil scheme. Well, I have a couple things I've been working on in the back, but you know, it's our first fight as nemesises and I want it to be special. So, tell you what, I'll create something reaaaally evil and you can come back tomorrow and fight me! Okay?"

The platypus thought for a moment, and then nodded. "Great! I'll see you tomorrow platypus! Uh, wait, I can't just call you 'Platypus' so, do you have a collar or a card or-"

Instantly, the platypus reached into his fedora and pulled out a small white business card. "Oh you do have a business card." Doofenshmirtz took it, and read it out loud. "Agent P of the O.W.C.A." There was something written in a smaller font underneath this. "Perry the Platypus."

The scientist looked at the agent, and smiled. "Perry the Platypus," he repeated. The name somehow suited the animal. "Alright, we'll meet back here same time tomorrow, Perry the Platypus."

()()()()()()()()

Heinz smiled nostalgically. "Perry..." He closed his eyes, and thought only of his nemesis.

That was the beginning of something great for him, probably one of the few great things in his life. Over the years when they battled, things between the two changed. Perry became a little less work-focused, and would loosen up a little. He would except Doof's invitations for dinner or tea, they exercised together, he would even smile at Doof sometimes. How many other evil scientists had that?

Perry would help him with non-evil things like shopping or raising Vanessa. He would comfort him when Doof felt at his lowest. No matter what, he always came. Even if the inator was barely evil or even downright ridiculous (which, looking back, Heinz did admit some were a little out there), Perry would still come. He would get trapped, listen to his backstory no matter how long it was, and they would fight.

The battles, they were his favorite part. The thrill, the chase, the fight. It made him feel energized, and it could be fun. They didn't have to be 'to the death' and super serious, they could even be a little enjoyable. Maybe that was why most of the time, he didn't mind losing to the good guy.

And after every battle, he would fly away and Doof would always shout his infamous curse. And the next day, Perry the Platypus would come back, and it would begin again.

He had always heard people say to try new things (although that usually never ended well for him), but to Doofenshmirtz, he always preferred the familiar over something new.

When his 'friends' ridiculed him, and when his daughter was busy growing up, there was still one thing that never changed. It was something he could depend on, something that could inspire him to keep going and keep trying. And when he failed, it was something to help pull him back up, and something to make him want to try again even in the face of certain defeat.

Who would've thought a small, teal, semi aquatic mammal could make such a difference in his life?

*DING! DING!*

Heinz nearly jumped out of his seat. Looking around, he realized it was the clock tower in city hall, which only rang when it struck noon. "Wow, I've been thinking for three hours?" he asked himself. Even in his mind he rambled.

No, it wasn't really rambling, more like remembering. And on this day, it was appropriate.

He still didn't feel hungry, despite it being lunchtime. But he still got up, although he wasn't heading towards the kitchen. As much as he didn't want to go in there, it was almost as if he had to. "It is the anniversary of when we first met after all," he mumbled.

Walking down the hall, he stopped at a single, purple painted door, and placed his hand on the cool doorknob. Turning it slowly, he entered the room.

He coughed slightly, waving away the dust trying to enter his lungs. Flicking a light switch, artificial light filled the room. From wall to wall, old and broken inators rested. Some were covered with a tarp, since they were in good condition and could be sold if needed to. Others were just a pile of metal and gears with a three-by-five card sitting on top of the pile, telling Heinz what inator it was because it was so broken he couldn't tell.

Lasers, magnets, cone shaped, box shaped, big, small, mostly buttons, even ones a little silly looking, a whole collection of disabled inators. Of course this wasn't all of them, the bigger ones were in the basement. But this room held his favorite ones, the inators that may not have worked correctly, but the memory was too good to lose.

None of them were less than three years old, although the more recent ones weren't quiet as elaborate. Some were even just a remote control or a small droid. After all, at his age, there was no point in being as big and bold as before. The Golden Inator Age was behind him, so most of the newer ones were just evil enough to get Major Karl of the O.W.C.A. to call them in.

His toolboxes laid dusty and unused. He hadn't invented anything in years. He didn't want to, his inspiration was gone. What was the point of building an evil inator with no one to stop you? Too easy, and not fun at all. But that was fine with Heinz, after all it wasn't the building he missed. Besides, there were other things he could do.

As he walked passed the final few inators, he reached what he was really looking for. On the outside, a simple broom closet. But it was what was inside that he needed to see.

Opening the door, he used all and any strength he had left in his old, worn out body and pulled out a medium sized cardboard box. Grabbing a wooden chair, he sat down and opened the box. There was an assortment of items, blueprints he drew as a child, Vanessa's school projects and crafts, a photo album, journals, and even a couple letters he had written but never got around to sending. He smiled at these things. While everything else eventually broke or was destroyed, these were items he always kept safe.

And, resting on the top of all this, was a small brown fedora.

Carefully, he picked it up. The familiar thick fabric was like an old childhood blanket to him. He held it close, and tried not to start crying. He had cried enough times over his life, besides it would ruin the fabric.

His memories began to take him over once again...

()()()()()()()()

Even a doomkoff like him could see it. Perry the Platypus was getting old. Of course, they were both old, they had been fighting for forty-two years. But for platypi, well, it was a surprise Perry had lasted this long. Maybe he was lucky, maybe the agency gave him special medicine to keep him alive. But whatever the reason, Doofenshmirtz knew his frenemies life was coming to an end.

He tried to ignore it and pretend Perry would always be there. Then, when the platypus started getting slower, he purposely made his inators more easy to destroy.

After a while, the two mostly played chess whenever Perry came over. But they still had their little fights. (For an old platypus, he could still throw a good punch!) Things didn't change, neither one wanted it to change.

The weird relationship they had, the fights, the thwarting, the good times, the relaxing times when they knew it would be hard to deny they were friends as well as enemies, they wanted it all to just last forever.

But no inator was going to make that happen.

He heard the door opened and smiled. "Okay Perry the Platypus, I figured out I way I can finally-" he turned to see his nemesis, but instantly fell silent.

Perry wasn't in his action stance (which he could still pull off pretty well), but he wasn't smiling either. He just looked sad, and tired. "Perry the Platypus?"

The platypus took out his notebook, and wrote down a few words, handing it to Heinz when he was finished.

"I can't stay long."

The old scientist shook his head. "No, no you can't!" He looked at his nemesis, glaring at him through the tears. "Don't say something like this! You're not going anywhere Perry the Platypus! You're- you can't- you're not-!"

Perry said nothing, not even his usual chatter. He just let Heinz rant. He knew how this conversation would go, and yet he still didn't feel ready for it.

"This, this is just some sort of cruel joke! You're mean Perry the Platypus!" Doofenshmirtz shouted, "Well, joke's on you Pal! I don't believe it! You're not going anywhere! You're Perry the Platypus, semi aquatic egg laying mammal of action! You've escaped every single trap, defeated my countless times! And now you're telling me that you're just gonna go and-! And, and..."

With that, Heinz fell to his knees, finally letting the sobs that he was holding back go. Perry wasted no time in wrapping his arms around the scientist. Doof held Perry closed, and let the tears fall.

Letting go of Perry for a moment, he looked at the platypus. "Do, do you think we can just, hang out today?" As much as Heinz would've liked one final battle of good vs. evil, he just didn't know if he could make it through it without completely breaking down.

Perry nodded. Standing up, the two walked over to the couch. It was then that Doofenshmirtz could truly see how weak the agent had gotten. He couldn't even walk on two feet anymore, it was so strange seeing him walk on all fours. But, Doof kept his comments to himself.

The two sat on the couch, but the tv wasn't turned on. They just talked. They talked about the past, they talked about recent stuff, they even talked about the future. Of course Doof did most of the talking, but Perry would still chitter or write something down.

There wasn't much to share secretwise, they already knew everything about each other. Doof even knew about Perry's family (after all, his son-in-law was Perry's owner). Doof had never thought much of it before, but it was nice to have someone you know so much about (in a non creepy way) and vice versa.

As the hours went by, the old scientist found himself getting more and more quiet. The day was coming to an end, and as much as he wanted to stay by Perry's side, he knew it was only appropriate for the platypus to spend his last moments with his owners. He didn't want to let him go, but Doof knew he had to and needed to. No evil thoughts even crossed his mind.

"So, how are we going to do this?" Doof asked when he saw it was five minutes to three. Perry looked at him curiously. "I mean, I know in the agency they say goodbye with someone with a salute, but I don't know if that's right for us.

"I was thinking about, you know, cursing you like I usually do. But," he heard his voice start to crack a little, but ignored it, " I don't want to curse you if you're, if you're already..." He felt a hot tear run down his face and muttered a curse. He really hated goodbyes.

"Krkrkrkrkrkrkrkrkrkr." Doofenshmirtz looked at Perry, who was holding out a notebook. The scientist took it, and began to read.

Dear Heinz,

Doof, I know we 'hate' each other, but I also want you to know I consider you just as much my family as my owners. When I first met you, I thought you were just a crazy loonatic scientist. That was true, but there's so much more about you. No matter what others may say, you're inventive, you're creative, you're a little weird, but you're also a lot of fun. Fighting you, that was the highlight of my day. I never would've thought in a million years that my enemy, the person I'm supposed to only hate, could turn out to be someone I know all about, and who knows all about me. Someone I actually enjoy to be around, and someone I would be spending my last day with on purpose.

I know it's hard to say goodbye, but everything has it's time. You made my life great, you AND my owners helped make my life, helped make me more than just 'a platypus'. I'm happy with my life, and I'm ready to say goodbye.

But, before I go, just promise me that you'll keep living. You've still got some years left in you, and I don't want them going to waste. You have to promise me that.

I'll still be watching over you, it is my job after all.

Love, Perry the Platypus

Doofenshmirtz wiped away the tears, and looked at the platypus, who was getting a little teary eyed himself. Perry then twirled his hand, as if to say, "Turn it over."

Doof turned the notebook over and read. "P.S, I wouldn't mind if you said it, I'd like to hear it one last time."

More tears started to come, but Heinz held them back. Perry had already (carefully) jumped off the couch. It was time to say goodbye. The two walked over to the balcony, the cool summer wind blowing past their faces.

"Perry the Platypus," Heinz spoke up. His nemesis looked at him. "Thanks for making my life great too," he said simply. Perry walked over and wrapped his arms around the scientist's legs. Heinz placed his hands on the platypus' back and returned the hug, closing his eyes and trying to make sure he remembered the feel of the hug, the warmth of his fur.

When they let go, Perry slowly pulled on his jetpack (Doof had to help him a little) and walked to the edge of the floor. "Krkrkrkrkrkrkrkr," he said quietly before pressing the button and flying into the air.

He wasn't going to be sad, at least not now. From Balloony to his divorce, Heinz Doofenshmirtz had had enough sad goodbyes. Thinking of the years they had spent together, the fights they fought, the fun they had, Doof smiled. He took in a big breath, and with all his strength, he shouted at the top of his lungs,

"Curse you, Perry the Platypus!"

He could almost feel Perry smiling back at him.

()()()()()()()()()()

That was the last time he saw Perry.

While their goodbye was happy, that didn't stop him from feeling absolutely miserable the next day.

Knowing that there would be no battle, Heinz stayed in bed most of the day. He tried to just ignore everything around him, especially the one phone call he recieved, already knowing who was calling.

But, that night, someone knocked on his door. Surprised, Doof actually got up and answered the door. It was Dr. Coco- er, Carl, the head of the O.W.C .A. for a year now. In his hands was a small box. "Hello Dr. Doofenshmirtz," Carl greeted. The former intern could see the sadness in the evil scientist's face, but still felt like he had to make this delivery today. "Here," he said, handing Doof the box. When given a curious look, Carl only replied with, "He wanted you to have it."

Nothing else needed to be said.

When he opened the box, nothing could stop the tears from falling. He remembered crying himself to sleep, with the small, brown fedora cradled in his arms.

The next few weeks really were Hell. There were good times, and bad times. Some days he would be reminded but would be able to shake it off. Other days, it would cause him to breakdown and stay in bed until the tears finally stop. But, with the help of his daughter and the promise he had made to Perry, he was able to move on.

During those weeks, he had kept the hat close by. But, knowing he would never truly be able to move on that way, Doofenshmirtz decided to place the fedora with his other precious objects.

Now, three years later, it was in his hands again.

"I miss you," he said to the hat. Of course, he wasn't talking to the old fedora. "Somedays, It's just so hard. I know I have Vanessa and her family, and you know I love them." He briefly thought of his daughter, all grown up and so beautiful and smart. He was so proud of her. "But you, you came everyday. You knew all about me, and not just because you spied on me. You actually wanted to know me. It's nice to feel wanted.

"I, I never would've thought I would miss getting beaten up by you," Doof said with a chuckle, "Or getting blown up. Talking with you, fighting you, even cursing you." He felt his eyes start to get watery, and didn't bother trying to hold back. "I miss you, Perry the Platypus. I miss..."

He looked up, and saw one of his broken inators. He smiled. "I miss giving you backstories and explaining my evil plan."

A memory played for him like an old movie.

He stood in front of the platypus, with his arms out wide. "And since my lawn gnome was taken away from me, I will destroy every lawn gnome in the entire Tri-State Area! Behold, the Destruct-inator! And now, Perry the Platypus, to activate my creation!"

He actually started to try and push a button that wasn't there. But the present returned to him, and he realized that there was no button (at least not a functional one, and not right in front of him), and no platypus.

"But you're not here to stop me," Heinz muttered sadly, "You're not here anymore." The room felt so cold and empty. No one was there but him. The familiar loneliness he had felt all his life returned to him, and had hit him harder than ever.

Squeezing the fedora in his hands, craving some sort of warmth or comfort, he silently cried. He didn't bother making a sound, no one was there to here it. He just let the tears silently fall like rain.

"Curse you," he muttered, "curse you..."

As he sat there, in the old wooden chair, he started to feel something. It was almost warm, familiar. It was still silent in the room, but he felt the urge to look up. And when he did, Doofenshmirtz couldn't believe his eyes.

Standing right in front of him, with a smile on his bill, was Perry the Platypus.

He didn't look wrinkled or tired like the last time they saw each other, he looked as young as the day they met. The only thing that was missing was his fedora. As if to prove the scientist wasn't just seeing things, Perry let out that familiar chatter. "Krkrkrkrkrkrkrkrkr."

Heinz blinked, his sapphire eyes filled with hope but also distrust. "P-Perry the Platypus, how are you here? You're, you're not." He looked away. "You are not here. It's just my imagination. You're dead, you can't be here. And even if you are here, Perry the Platypus, you're just going to leave! Well then, just go!"

But he didn't hear the sound of webbed feet walking away. Instead, he felt a small tug. Opening his eyes, he saw Perry gently pull the fedora out of his hands. With the scientist's hands empty now, Perry placed his small paws in them and squeezed them. He felt so warm, so real.

A stray tear fell. "You, you are here," Doof stated, almost as if to remind himself. Standing up, he grabbed the platypus in held him in his arms. The two embraced, staying that way for more than a few moments. Doof didn't speak, he didn't need to say anything, he just wanted being with his best frenemy once again.

After finally letting go, he gave Perry a tearful smile. Perry returned it with a friendly grin, and a small punch in the arm. Doofenshmirtz chuckled. Standing up on strong (albeit small) legs and webbed feet, Perry looked at Doof.

In the back of his mind, he knew what was coming. This wasn't just a reunion. He was scared, and excited. Nervous, but anxious. Being able to read him like a book, Perry could see the conflicting emotions on his frenemy's face. But he simply took Doof's hand, and gave it a small squeeze. Squeezing back, Heinz smiled and stood up.

"Thank you, Perry the Platypus." With that, the two walked away.

()()()()()()()()

Vanessa, despite being embarrassed by him in her teenage years, had loved her dad. She knew her dad knew that. She would visit him, and always let him know she loved him and knew he loved her. She had no regrets, and while she was still sad about her father's death, it would be easier for her to move on. Because she knew he was in a better place.

But, one thing that would always stick with her as long as she lived was this image:

Her father, the man who entered this world crying with no one by his side, had left it with a smile on his face and a fedora in his hands.

**The End.**

**Okay, I'm really nervous about posting this, just because I've never posted something like this before. But, I really wanted to write this, because I feel this is what Doof's death would be like. These two are so close, so I know they'll get a chance to say goodbye to one another, and when Doof does pass on, Perry will be the one that will help him leave. Because really, after saving him so many times and being his best friend/nemesis, he would be with him until the end, even if Perry does die first (which unfortunately is likely since Perry is still an animal and Doof is human).**

**I really do love these two and their strange but beautiful friendship.**

**Hope you enjoyed! A couple minor things:**

**1) Thomas of course isn't my OC**

**and 2) the idea of Perry wanting Doof to have his hat after he dies isn't mine. It's from Jabraille and her story "If I Could Speak" (which, seriously, go read, it's great).**

**Thank you for reading and please review.**


End file.
